Easter | 2016

Dear Pemberley,
This year Easter was full of family, food, love, and pure exhaustion! But worth every minute.

We woke up to snow. Yes, you read that correctly. Snow. It's not unheard of in March in Kansas, but I was still a little peeved. We got you and sister dressed and bundled up in coats, and headed over to Uncle Eli and Aunt Sally's for a delicious brunch. After we ate, we all went downstairs and you participated in your first ever Easter egg hunt! (Which was originally scheduled to be outside, but you know...snow happened.) Here you are, picking up M&M filled eggs, with one shoe on.

While you licked  played with cousin Reagan's toys and walked around in your one shoe, Auntie Darcy got some cuddle time in with Waverley.

After brunch, we headed over to Grandma Joanne's house for an early dinner. You took a 30 minute nap on the way, which seemed to recharge you quite a bit! Once we got there, you just loved throwing plastic eggs all over the place, and you adored the newest addition to your sippy cup collection :)

When we finally left Grandma Joanne's, it was about 4:30pm and you were tired. I mean...tired. You started crying in the back seat out of pure exhaustion, and it reminded Mommy that even though you look and act like a big girl, you need to take your regularly scheduled naps because you're still my little baby.

Just for fun, here's a throwback to last Easter. It breaks my Mommy heart when I see how much you've GROWN! (Except for those chubby baby thighs! I hope you NEVER outgrow those!!!!)

I'm pretty excited for next Easter, when you get to school Wavie on how to hunt for Easter eggs. ((And we'll start crossing out fingers for no snow so we can do it outside!))

Happy Easter 2016, my little toddler bunny,

A Letter To My Only Child, Before She Becomes A Big Sister

Dear Pemberley,
Any day now, you will become a big sister. You will never remember a time when Waverley wasn't in your life. For almost 18 months, it was just you and me and Daddy. You will never remember what being an only child was like, so it's up to me to tell you.

You won't remember the beginning time we spent together as mommy and daughter after daddy's paternity leave was up. That first day I woke up scared shitless, wondering how we would fill the next nine hours until daddy got home. But we fell into a routine almost immediately. You won't remember our Friday Night Lights marathons, sprawled out on the couch and the bed. You won't remember the all-day pajama fests, or the days when I would load you up in the car and we'd go walk around Barnes and Noble, just to get out of the house.

You won't remember how doted upon you were, and how adored. You were the first grandbaby that Grannie and Grandma Joanne got to spoil, and you were loved and kissed and hugged and cuddled every moment they saw you. You also won't remember meeting your great-grandpa Stan before he passed away, or how he loved to take off your socks and hold your tiny feet. You won't remember him asking me if I was finally happy, and you won't remember me looking at you and whispering, "Yes."

You won't remember all of the toys and books that were only yours for your first year and a half...the times when you didn't have to share because there was no little sister asking you to.

You won't remember that the moment the doctor placed you on my chest and I heard your cry, my heart swelled with a love I could never comprehend before your arrival. You'll never remember that it was YOU who made me a mother in that second- the most difficult and rewarding job I've ever had.

But there are times when I'm thankful that you can't remember; the little times when I feel like I failed you as a mommy. Like when I forgot your diaper bag at our very first doctor's appointment. Or the time when I forgot your milk for daycare at home, and I had to rush to work to pump so you would have enough to eat for the day. Or the time when you were 11 months old and we had to give you your first bottle of formula because my supply had dropped so much in my second trimester with Waverley that I couldn't pump enough for you anymore.

***

I guess it's all just as well. You'll never remember that you had your mommy and daddy all to yourself and didn't have to share our attention...you won't remember when we weren't a family of four.

But I won't forget. I will remember every precious minute of it - and I will remember it for the both of us.

Pemberley, you are going to be an amazing big sister. I can't wait for you to meet Waverley and open up her world like you opened up mine.

With all of the love in the whole world,

In Toddler News | Part Two

Dear little one,
I hardly know where to begin. You're learning and growing by leaps and bounds and it's hard to catch up! It seems like every day your Daddy and I figure out something new that you learned, or realize that a pair of pants that fit you the night before are suddenly too small. You're growing up before our eyes and it's so bittersweet to see! Where oh where to begin...?

Let's start with the pets. You walk around the house going, "At! Aaaaat!" You're of course yelling cat, but Meagram chooses to ignore you and Disco runs away in fear that you'll step or sit on her. You also LOVE to meow back at them. We'll ask you, "How does the cat go?" And you make literally the.most.adorable attempt at a meow. I'm going to miss it when you start "for real" talking; your translations are just too cute! I'm also very pleased that you like the cats, while Daddy shakes his in disbelief that you said the word cat before the word doggy - haha!

#catloverlikehermommy #futuretroublemakingBFFs

Of course, your love for all things feline doesn't stop you from spending quality time with the dogs. Here you are, after just having eaten breakfast. I was in the living room for a minute when it occurred to me that you were very quiet. Too quiet. So I got up to find you and Rusty, hanging out in the dog crate. I managed to get this picture right after he bolted and right as you were crawling out. Safe to say you've found a little hideaway...

You also love sharing food with the dogs, and by sharing, I mean giving your food to them and eating theirs as well. Daddy bought a new huge container for the dog food and put it next to the dog crate in the breakfast nook. I swear I was only in the bathroom for five seconds when I walked out to find that the following had gone down:

1) You opened the top of the container and got out the cup we use to measure the dog food with, 

2) Rusty and Dolce were feasting as fast as they could on as much dog food as possible, and 

3) You can fit a hell of a lot of dog food in your mouth in the time it takes me to walk from the hallway to the kitchen. 

Daddy was proud when I told him what happened.

So, about food. You're still my little chunker when it comes to eating. You have gotten maybe a little pickier in the past few months, but it's really hard to tell if it's you actually being picky, or me just being a terrible cook. By and large though, breakfast is your jam. You can pack away six mini pancakes, a whole banana AND some yogurt with z-e-r-o difficulty. We've recently begun giving you a toddler spoon to help you start learning how to use silverware. Let's just say it's a skill in progress :)

Helping me in the kitchen is also a new favorite way for the two of us to bond. I can't help but smile when I'm unloading the dishwasher, and I look over to see this::

See what I mean? Little. Miss. Trouble! I actually bought you a pink play kitchen, but Daddy hadn't had time to put it together just yet. I'm hoping once he does you'll be more inclined to play with it, instead of in our drawers...

Other things you've learned include how to open the door from the hallway to the garage (so you can let big fat Meagram escape, and it's totally adorbs when I tell you, "Daddy's home!!" and you run to open the door for him), how to 'wear' my glasses, to walk over to the changing table when you need a diaper change, and how to crawl up the stairs at lightning speed. I'm a proud mama when I can say, "Pemberley, let's go upstairs!" and you walk right over to the baby gate and wait for me to unlock it. (I'm also a very thankful mama, because carrying you up the stairs and being 34 weeks pregnant is like, the opposite of easy.)

I've also come to adore how much you love your new car seat! The Graco Size4Ever straps just weren't working out for us. We'd buckle you in, make sure they were the correct tightness, and then by the time I got to daycare in the mornings, they'd be slack. As much as we're on the road, I didn't want to chance anything happening to you. We upgraded to a Diono Radian RXT and you LOVE it! It helps you do crazy things with your hair when you pull out your ponytail...

...and it has enough space that you can comfortably sit with your blanket, a cup of water, and a book. This picture warms my heart...it gives me hope that someday you'll become an avid reader and lover of books just like your mommy! (Even though I'll admit the only thing you were doing with that particular book was searching and yelling for the picture of the "aaaaaaaattttt!")

I think my favorite thing you've learned to date is where your belly button is, though. We'll ask you, and the cutest little smile flashes across your face before you lift up your shirt and show us. And girl, you are not shy! You'd walk around showing off your tummy all day if we let you ;)

You've become quite the Daddy's Little Helper, too. I love to see you follow him around and try to mimic what he's doing - banging on the walls while he nails something up, 'hammering' something down, or even picking out paint at Home Depot.

Last is your affinity for anything electronic. You love the Endless ABCs app on my phone, and you love to cue Siri on Daddy's phone and ask her about the "aaat!" I caught this adorable picture of you playing on Daddy's phone right before bed. (Excuse your outfit...a dress I ordered for you had just come in the mail and I couldn't wait to try it on you!)

You're quite our little princess, as you can tell. We love you so much, and get so excited the more we watch you grow. You're such a smart, beautiful little girl and we are so lucky to call you our daughter!

With all of the love in the world,

Happy Valentine's Day 2016 + Valentine's Day Throwback

Dear little one,
Happy Valentine's Day 2016! It's a day full of love, and I hope you know how much your Daddy and I LOVE you!!

Jo Snaps did a beautiful job capturing some of my newest favorite pictures. You're all dolled up in a pink/red/white tutu dress that I made. I swear I wouldn't know what to do if you were a boy and I couldn't make things like this for you to wear!!

There were over 40 pictures to choose from, but Daddy insisted I narrow it down and pick just my top three. Here they are!

 

And for a little Valentine's Day throwback, here you are just one year ago. It's seriously unreal how much you've changed since I took these in your bedroom. You're such a grown up little girl now!! Where did my chubby little baby go?!?!

 Happy Valentine's Day, sweet girl! We love you!!!!

Happy New Year 2016!

Dear little one,
Well, another year has come and passed. But this year was different for your Daddy and me because it wasn't all about us...it was all about you. You've grown so much over the past year - from learning to sit and to crawl, to eating solid foods, to walking and talking. It really is amazing how much you changed in just 365 days.

I love you so much, Pemberley. This year I resolve to continue trying to give you as much of my attention as you need as you grow into your own little personality. I know your needs will be different than that of Waverley's, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless about having two kids. I never knew my heart could be so full when I had you, and I mean it when I say it's doubled in size since we found out baby sister is on her way. But I'm still nervous...how can I be a good mother to my toddler when I'm utterly exhausted from getting up five times a night nursing a newborn again? How can I possibly give both of you my undivided attention? But then I remember that my mom did it with four kids, and your Daddy's mom did it with three, and Aunt Darcy and Aunt Sally do it with two. And I know it'll work out...we just have to find our rhythm as a family of four.

So, in addition to giving you all of the attention you need as we continue embarking upon your Year Two, I also resolve to allow myself to relax a little more. I'm *very* uptight and need to learn that sometimes it's okay if we wear pajamas all day, and that it's not the end of the world if we have to eat pancakes for dinner because taking a toddler and newborn to WalMart to grocery shop is like asking for trouble.

As ridiculous as this post may sound, your Daddy and I are SO EXCITED to see what 2016 has in store for us. With you and little sister, we know we'll never be happier.

I love you, my biggest girl,

Christmas 2015

Hi little one,
Your second Christmas! I think you had way more fun than your first. You got to eat fish and coleslaw, salad, spaghetti, you got to break bread with the family (translate: shovel it all into your mouth as fast as you could), and you got to open a TON of presents! After seeing the change that a year makes, I'm so pumped to see what you can do by Christmas 2016!!

Here you are a few days before Christmas, getting into mischief. I think you look just like your Daddy here, but everyone says you are a mini ME :) I'm also 99% sure that you threw your first temper tantrum when we told you that opening presents early is not okay, and that you absolutely could NOT eat the ribbon that Gigi attached to the gift...

We celebrated Christmas Eve at our house for the first time. It was so special! We decorated our little hearts out with a new tree, filled out the fireplace mantle with twinkle lights and garland, and even did the buffet table too. I don't know what it is, but holiday decorations just set the mood for the season :) I'm also positive that next year we'll have to make some major changes since you'll be into everything and so will your little sister!

I do want to tell you a little about why we have this particular dinner since to an untrained eye, it might seem a little strange and nontraditional to eat fries and Joe's Crab Shack for Christmas Eve. But your Grannie grew up in an Italian house where this wasn't uncommon. The fish feast is referred to as the "Feast of the Seven Fishes" and dates back centuries. We obviously only feasted on one type of fish, but you get the idea! (And the fries are just an added bonus - or so says your Daddy.)

I'm sorry about how crappy the dinner picture turned out. In my pregnancy-fueled hunger I just snapped a picture and didn't think about straightening out the plates or making it look particularly nice. I was toooooo hungry!! Like you, I couldn't wait to eat. Here you are, chowing down on the bread that we are supposed to share with each other break to symbolize forgiveness and that we are looking forward to a new year with our family. It's a Polish tradition that your Poppie grew up with, and it's one of my favoritest things that we do every year. Also, those cheeks!

After we ate, you got a bath from your Daddy and Auntie Caroline (don't believe a word she says...she LOVES giving you baths!) while I did the dishes with Grannie and Grandma Joanne. Then when you were changed into your Christmas pajamas, you got to open all the presents!! Talk about fun :)

You did a fabulous job unwrapping a million gifts and were quite spoiled rotten as I suspected you would be. We all had so much fun watching you before you went off to bed. Your grandmas and aunt love you soooo much!

The next day, Christmas Day, your Gigi and Papa G came over and you attacked Christmas 2K15 Part Two. The present unwrapping took forever because again, you were spoiled :) You got tons of new things to play with including books, a Beatbo, and puzzles. I'm a terrible mommy and forgot to take pictures, but trust me, fun times were had by all!

I'm so happy that you enjoyed yourself this holiday, Pemberley. I really can't tell you how much it means to your Daddy and me that you're a part of our family and that we get to celebrate with you. It's only going to get better every year!
Merry Christmas, Pem! With so much love,

In Toddler News | Part 1

Hi little one,
Toddler News. It's weird to write and even weirder to say out loud. You're getting so big, and learning new things every day. I know I kind of suck at updating your blog, but I promise I'll get better. I mean, I have to--you're doing so much new stuff and I don't want to miss a thing!

First. You just look older. You're losing all of your adorable chubbs baby fat now that you're walking everywhere (and sometimes trying to run...especially when it's away from the dogs). And did I even mention the fact that you're walking yet?! It's the weirdest thing, to see you randomly stand up and just take off. Like...when did my big girl get so BIG? Here you are at Oak Park Mall looking way older than you actually are, and you're getting ready to dig into some Original's Pizza. Which brings me to my second point...

Second. Food. You are definitely your father's child when it comes to food. You love to eat! And you're not picky. Watching you scarf down Brussels sprouts, chicken, broccoli, Cheerios, bell peppers (as evidenced in the picture below) makes your father smile every time. And man, can you eat! Daddy sometimes worries that we overfeed you, but I just remind him that you're constantly on the move so you need all of the fuel you can get. As of a few weeks ago, you were almost 22 pounds!

Third. Dress. You still wear a majority of your 12 month clothes, even though you're 14 months old now. The 18 month clothes (and pajamas in particular) are too long in the arms and too big in the waist in most brands. Since turning one, you've rocked a fur vest AND a leather coat, so you're quite the little mini-fashionista-in-the-making. Until I let Daddy dress you. Then you look like this:

Never again will your Daddy be allowed to pick out your clothes. I promise.

You love to rock your gold glitter moccs, as well as your leopard print kicks. Grannie is already planning to buy you your first pairs of Uggs and Wellies, and I must admit--I'm SO EXCITED to see you wear them someday! Baby shoes melt my heart.

Of course, doing every day things wearing absolutely nothing but a diaper is also totally normal for you. For example this time, when we found you eating Daddy's protein powder. I swear I thought I locked the pantry up before I walked into the laundry room. People weren't kidding when they said to never leave a toddler alone for any amount of time...

Fourth. The car. You are still rear-facing in your car seat, and you don't mind it at all. You usually fall asleep within minutes, but when you don't, it's not totally rare for you and I to have full conversations while I drive. You're a babble machine (just like your mama)! You're also all smiles when I go to get you out. See what I mean? Face.of.an.angel.

 

But Daddy and I also take you out of your seat and let you test drive the car from time to time. You can't *quite* reach the pedals just yet, but you know. #lifegoals

Fifth. Last. Sleeping. You're making up for all of the sleepless nights you had between birth and your first birthday. You are the BEST sleeper! And as much as I wish I could tell you the magic secret, I think it just boils down to us having to wait until you were ready to sleep through the night. Now that you do, though...what a difference! 12-14 hour stretches are commonplace, and on weekend mornings, I LOVE IT. I'll admit it. I feel like less of a "mombie" (mom/zombie) and more like myself. And you're happier too:: when you wake up, you have the best smile on your face!

But you have started doing a kind of weird(?) thing while you sleep, however. Someimes I'll wake up to pee and I'll check in on you via the Dropcam monitor. Many times, you're sitting upright in your crib, like Paranormal Baby or something. You never make a sound or give any other indication that you're awake, and it's seriously the freakiest thing to see you just sitting there, hanging out in your crib at midnight.

So, that's it. You're a big girl, and getting bigger every day. You love bringing me your baby when I ask for it, and you recently learned the word "up". You yell "UP!" after you walk to your highchair and indicate that you're hungry. You repeat "UP! UP! UP!" until we pick you up and set you on the couch with us. And you love to throw the ball to Rusty in the living room and then try to take it out of his mouth when he gets it. It really does make my heart swell when I see you doing such big girl things.

We're going to get ready for your second Christmas in about a week. I will of course keep this updated with all of our Christmas break shenanigans, and I'm too excited to post pictures of your adorbs Christmas dress!!!

I love you so much my big girl,