Friday, January 30, 2015

One Year Ago Today...

Hi little one,
A year ago today, we found out that you were on your way! It really is crazy to think back and realize how much our lives have changed in just one year. We found out we were pregnant, your Daddy and I got married...you came along!

But I'm not going to lie to you; things weren't always so happy for us. We started trying to conceive in March of 2013. We met with my doctor and he said that it could take a year or more for me to conceive because of my stage 2 endometriosis and because I had been on Depo for a really, really long time. He also said that if we weren't pregnant by March of the following year, we could start to discuss fertility treatments.

I was *so sure* that we wouldnt have any problems, but after summer had come and gone, I started to worry. Was something wrong with me? I began to obsess about it, even though it hadn't even been a year. We met with a fertility doctor who began to run preliminary tests that checked my progesterone levels once a month...and then it happened. On December 20, 2013, two lines showed up on a pregnancy test. I went to the doctor and a blood test confirmed that I was pregnant. That night I made a nice dinner for your Daddy, wrapped up a digital test in a onesie, and set it by his dinner plate like a napkin. He was so confused when the test dropped on his lap, and when he figured out what it was, he knelt on the floor and started crying with me. We were going to have a baby!

We told your great-grandparents a few days later, and your Gigi and Papa G right after Christmas. Everyone was so happy for us, and we were over the moon. But a few days later, on New Year's Eve, I went to the hospital because I was bleeding and we were told that I had miscarried the baby. To say that we were devastated is an understatement. I didn't want to even breathe. I've never felt pain like that before.

The doctor gave us the green light to start trying again when we were ready, so we waited a few weeks and thought what the hell? If I could get pregnant once, maybe I could do it again. We got our next positive pregnancy test on January 30, 2014. Thirty days after the worst news of our lives, we got the best news!

In the world of mommies, there's a term for a child born after a loss:: rainbow baby. You're OUR rainbow baby, and you're a blessing in so many ways. Pemberley, I hope you know how special you are to us, and how utterly in love with you we are.

I love you, my sweet, perfect rainbow girl.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

A Nice Way to Spend a Sunday

Hi little one,
One of my New Year's resolutions is to make this blog better. I want you to be able to look back on it someday and see how much your daddy and I love you and how proud of you we are. I don't want to just post your adorable monthly updates...I want to capture the every day moments that really show how we live! Here are some such moments from this past weekend...

Breakfast:: I actually made breakfast last Sunday! This is unusual for two reasons. 1) Daddy is the one who makes breakfast most of the time. (He's become quite the pancake flipping master, and I've become quite the pancake eater!) 2) I don't exactly have *skills* in the kitchen. I mean, I can boil water and get ice out of the freezer, but that's pretty much it. Except when I saw these scones at Wal-Mart and realized that I only had to turn the oven on and wait 18 minutes, I was sold. And. Were. They. Good!

Chores:: Household chores bore the crap out of me, as you probably know by now. I'd much rather spend my time playing or cuddling with you! But Daddy said he'd had enough, and I had to help clean up the main floor. So...I organized all of our coats! I love seeing all of my hard work displayed so nicely in the entryway :)

A date::  You're way too little to go to the movies just yet, so your great grandma Frannie came over to babysit while your Daddy took me on our first real date. I had been telling him how much I wanted to see Foxcatcher, so we kissed you goodbye and drove to the theater, only to find out that it was only playing in the cinema suites and there weren't two seats next to each other :( We did the second best thing and pigged out on beer and calzones at Old Chicago, and ice cream at Sylas and Maddy's.


That Special Bond:: I was itching to get home because I missed you, so back to the house we went. It was eerily quiet when I walked in, and once I rounded the corner into the living room, I saw why: you were sound asleep, cuddling with your Grannie. This picture says it all, baby girl.

We wrapped up the weekend with some tummy time practice, a few rounds of Trivia Crack (pro tip- your Daddy cheats! There's no way he has that much useless knowledge floating around his big head.), and some tickles.

I love moments like these, sweet girl. I hope you appreciate them too.
Love, love, love,

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Girls Day Out

Hi little one,
We've had quite the eventful week! You experienced your first trips to a mall and your first coffee shops :) Grannie and I took you to Independence Center last Sunday, and of course we had to stop at Gloria Jeans for some coffee and cookies. You had no idea what a big deal this was! (Gloria Jeans is the best coffee shop around, and there aren't any close to us.) But instead of getting excited, you played it cool and kept your Wubanubb entertained.
On this shopping trip, you got two pair of shoes (you're a total mama's girl) and two sleepers for daycare. All of the ladies at work call you a little fashionista because you always have the cutest clothes and accessories!



I had last Monday off work because of MLK Jr Day, so we "practiced" tummy time (and by that, I mean you sucked on your forefinger) for awhile, and took a nap on the couch...


When you finally woke up a few hours later, I got you all dressed up for our big day out! We took this picture and sent it to Daddy right before we left for Oak Park Mall. He said your little kitty cat leggings are ridiculous, but that didn't stop you from rocking them!

 Our first stop was Starbucks inside of Barnes and Noble for a green tea latte and (surprise!) a cookie (yes, that's TWO cookies in two days for your mommy, who is supposedly on a diet. Judge me. Judge me hard.). You weren't as excited about being inside of a huge ass bookstore as I was, but I'm pretty confident that mommy and baby dates to B&N will become a regular thing pretty soon.


By the time we made it to the second floor of the mall, you started to get a little fussy. I think all of the lights and sounds and smells overstimulated you, so we headed home. It was a great way for us to kill some time, and I'm really excited to take you to the mall and bookstore when you're older! They're two of my favorite places, and I hope you'll grow to love them as much as I do.

I love you, sweet girl!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Pemberley - Three months

Hi little one,
Can you believe you're three months old already?! It blows my mind when I think about it, it truly does.These last three months went by infinitely faster than the last three months of my pregnancy...!



At three months, you...
-wear 3 month clothes. Your 0-3 month clothes are way too small now!

-wear size 2 diapers

-love to suck on your pointer fingers, but not your thumbs

-are in the middle of a growth spurt, so you're up at 12:45am and 4:30am to eat

-don't seem to mind day care too much

-giggle and smile when Daddy makes farting noises (or when he actually does fart)

-seem more content when we have you in an upright position where you can look around

-finally outgrew your bassinet. You sleep in the pack and play in our room now.

-give the BIGGEST smiles as soon as you wake up and see one of us

-sleep swaddled, but with your arms out now

-find a way to scoot from the middle to the side of the pack and play while you sleep 

-are able to follow bright colors and movement on the Kindle with your eyes and neck

-can grasp some of the toys on your activity mat (you like the musical elephant the best, so far)

Back to work: I went back to work this week. It was soooo hard to leave you at day care, Pemberley! It was so hard. You gave me the best big girl smile right as I was leaving, and I bawled like a baby while I drove to work. Thankfully it's been a madhouse with my 8th graders so I haven't had much time to think about how much I miss you during the day, but leaving you was every bit as hard as people warned me it would be. It just makes me look forward to our weekends together even more!
Love,
 
 
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